that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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