Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
