We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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