shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
