UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
