when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
