i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
