I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize