If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
