Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I'm too high and old for this...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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