ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
