I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
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