the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
