So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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