i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
