I wanna bring you to show and tell
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
thus making me awesome and them whores
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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