It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
