I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
