I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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