Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
