thus making me awesome and them whores
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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