that's an acceptable place to lick
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
