She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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