i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
