well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
