I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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