I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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