i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
