dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
