i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
