i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
