are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
