You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
