he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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