in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
