He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
