Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
