i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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