It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
