false alarm. still invincible.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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