I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
