Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize