yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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