why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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