my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
