you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
