I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
