How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
