He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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