hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
