actually, I'm a sock model
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
