I must be too annoying 4 u.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
