At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
