i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
