Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
