Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Pappa wants mamma naked
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
