If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
