I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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