i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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