There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
