oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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