i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
