so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
