She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
