I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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