i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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