You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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