sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
How does it feel to date your dad?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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