Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just got carded by a ten year old.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
