Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
