Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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