We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
