You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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