I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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