I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
wakey wakey hands off snakey
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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