She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
