If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
